For years, this has been a contentious topic which sort of makes both the man and woman question a relationship. Even as I write this, I know I cannot put a rest to it but by listing some of the reasons you and your partner can work towards maintaining a healthy relationship.
There are several reasons like lack of trust and maturity to not wanting to fall in love, that a man may not want to set his foot down for commitment. Here’s an in-depth look as to why the modern man suffers phobia of commitment.
1.End of Freedom
This is one of the most common reasons that men are afraid of. They may look at a relationship as an end to their freedom because their partners may ask them to share certain responsibilities with them and that they may never be able to live a carefree life again. Since the expectations in any relationship become high, it may seem as if we have to be constantly on our toes to keep the ladies happy.
The thought that men have to constantly keep sending ‘I love you’ or ‘I miss you’ texts may seem like a task that is meant to happen every day. This automatically links the thought of commitment and may make them run for the door.
2. Lack of maturity
At times men may not be afraid of commitment but he may just not be mature enough to accept the fact that he is committed to you. Women on the other hand, biologically mature much sooner so the thought of settling down and long term security crosses their mind much faster than men. This ultimately leads to problems of settling down with each other eventually leading to demands of long term commitment from each other.
3. Buying time
At times your man may just be buying time to be sure about his feelings for you. In this case the refusal to commit may simply be an act to buy time.
However, it’s good not to start a relationship where one partner isn’t sure. If you can’t wait, speak up; tell your man about your priorities. Sit and talk. Even if he leaves you later, thank him for taking time.
4. Family history
An individual’s view of life may simply be influenced by his or her upbringing and his family. If he has seen marriages that end in bitter divorces or seen fights between other family members (read uncle, aunts or cousins) he may be scarred for life. This may make him rethink about committing in a relationship.
5. Financial Constraints
In a relationship, men tend to be the perfect gentleman with you so he may be concerned about the added financial responsibility. He may find it difficult to commit to you once his mind starts calculating about those romantic dinner dates to expensive gifts on birthdays and Valentine’s Day. It may give them cold feet just thinking about additional costs of maintaining a relationship.
6. Fear of not flirting anymore
One of the most common reasons why men avoid commitment could be that he may see this as losing a chance to date other women. Many times it could be that your man may not be sure of what they are looking for and may avoid sticking to one girl only.
7.He doesn’t want to be the first one to commit
Chances are less if you get the first guy from his group of friends to commit. Most men do want to commit but they don’t want to be the first one, and there is that respect amongst us for the last single guy in the group.
8. Maybe he just wants sex
If your mind screams out loud or your gut feeling tells you that the guy is not there for keeps but simply enjoys having you in bed, then it’s pretty much obvious he doesn’t want to stay committed to you.
I would just sum it up by saying that if you love him enough; give him space to think about you two instead of bogging him down to it. He may turn bitter or even annoyed for that matter at the thought of it. Let him come to the decision to commit naturally on his own. This will lead to a wonderful relationship. Let him be confident enough to hold your hand socially.
So ladies, this Valentine be the moon and let your wolf howl for you.
Rahul Rai Nigam is a counselor, NLP Practitioner, Timeline Therapist and Hypnotherapist. Having completed his graduation in Hotel Management from IHM Bhopal along with Diploma in French language, he is currently working as a faculty member with a hotel management institute. Rahul is also working as the training and placement officer at the hotel management institute and is also the visiting faculty of communication and advertising at an event management institute. He has an assorted experience of 7 years in hospitality, event management, software, media, and education industry.