Ruchita Batra, a single parent from New Delhi, stands tall (literally) on her decisions without any qualms. One look at her and you certainly become her fan for her strong-willingness. An amazing personality, she fought all odds to come out of the mess she was in and forged ahead towards her financial freedom. Her Josh makes her powerful and determined!
She teaches all of us how to become a go-getter in life despite the difficult situations that too confidently without sulking around and showing the best of your optimistic side. Happy and content with her decisions, she says, “Till the time I am taking my own decisions I have a life, and the moment I am forced to be with the circumstances or something which is not in my hands, I’ll go nuts.”
1.Tell us about your journey and how did you choose being what you are today?
In my childhood I always thought that an easy way out towards life was to get married for a woman. Probably, I was brought up this way where I always saw a woman take care of her man, her kids and also Bollywood to some extent impacted my thought process. So, I created an illusionary world where this was the only thing that needed to happen in life and things like career, exploring places, and meeting new people was never considered worth at all. I didn’t know what money was or how hard it was to earn it. I always thought money to be a commodity which could be taken out of the cupboard and used and you just had to ask for it from your dad.
So, it all started at a pretty young age for me. At 16, I was having an affair, 17 I was deeply and madly in love and by 20 I was hitched to the same guy. But I wouldn’t blame anyone for what I did because to me that was what I wanted and I got it. My marriage had a lot of gaps, firstly my husband was 10 years elder to me, financially there were major gaps, and it was also an inter-caste marriage. But my inner strength and love for him made me do things that I had otherwise never imagined I could have done.
It was a beautiful feeling and that was the most beautiful day of my life. I felt I had won the world by getting married to the guy I loved. But shaadi ka ladoo had other plans. I could sense the problems right from the first day but because I was really determined, I clung on to my decision and carried on with it for a while. I didn’t have the understanding of worldly terms so couldn’t evaluate what was happening and why was it happening. Life carried on in its flow and even before realizing I became the mother of two kids.
I did every thing under the sun to please my man. I served my best but remained unfulfilled when it came to feeling fulfilled. I always felt a gap in my life and thought something is missing but couldn’t understand what was it though I was blessed with two beautiful children and my family. I was taken for granted as is true for every typical Indian lady in every household. It was not a pleasant feeling and it was always an adjust and compromise cycle that followed. But then things started taking a turn towards the worse, coz I married someone who was already bankrupted at that time.
I was supporting him completely during his thick and thin both financially and emotionally which drained me out completely. That was the point where I decided that I couldn’t take it any further. My innocence was all broken and I faced the harsh truth and the hard facts. I used to pray for a change and believed in miracles but 6 years of prayers couldn’t do much to change things for us. That was when I realized that the only thing which could be changed was me. I focused on my education which was a challenge I accepted since I always ran away from studies in my childhood.
I took up Dietetics as a course and started with it at the age of 24. It was a tough course, a B.Sc of three years in 1 years. I was insulted and de-motivated that I wouldn’t clear the exam since I was an average student and I never had cleared my math and science exams in school. My studies were financed by my parents as the in laws didn’t have a single penny to support me.
Since then there was no looking back as I had realized the value and worth of self-improvement. I also got engaged in the practical experience of fitness and without any one’s permission and on my own terms opened a small fitness studio at my parent’s house. In 6 months a 3-student studio grew up to 30.
2.Difficulties you faced, as a woman, while fulfilling your dreams/aspirations and how did you overcome them?
Woman and that too married woman, do not have the right to have dreams in our country. A woman with dreams in her eyes is in itself a challenging thing here and to that one who was a homemaker and a mother of two kids in her mid-20s. By god’s grace I lived up to that dream. Every day was challenging, keeping up with personal life and balancing the professional life was a challenge.
The only thing I ever needed was support and understanding from my husband and in laws since I decided to shape my future for my family and myself. But I was misunderstood every time. I was humiliated and insulted at every step and my husband used to call me a witch and a demoness, since I had left the kitchen, my kids, in-laws and had entered into the earning mode and towards self-improvisation. I was labelled as a Buri Aurat (Bad Woman)! It was definitely an eye-opener for me because I had supported the man who was insulting me at every juncture.
From within I could hear a voice which would always convince me saying that I wasn’t doing anything wrong. I had decided to earn because of my husband’s bankruptcy. My inner strength to do something was so strong that I worked like a dog despite getting brickbats from everywhere. I used to manage everything, my house, my kids, my family and also my work. Juggling and toggling between roles, I worked really hard though my body paid the cost.
I struggled and juggled between lot of career choices. I failed 3 studios because my husband had put too many terms and conditions on me. Despite that I kept trying, failing, frustrations piling up, getting insulted time and again by him and still trying agreeing to those conditions. And one fine day the water went above my head coz despite supporting my husband financially he still wanted me to arrange for finances from my parents. That is when I decided that I will have to put my foot down. I simply turned him down and told him to deal with his financial problems himself.
The pressure was too much and I was going on a negative note. Thus, was the urge where I needed to really break free and take a deep breath and relax. That was the only way out to end this negativity from my life. It was more important than my family or money for the matter otherwise I would have died. This was the most depressing stage of my life where I was working like a machine, losing my sleep and sanity. I was put on sleeping pills which I popped at 12 in the midnight and back in the morning at 5 AM I started my day at work.
I was a happy go lucky person, who loved life. When all this happened, I kept it to myself and showed my happy face to everyone. But my father recognized and that is when I spilled down the beans to him. My parents were very upset on listening to my devastation.
With a little support in hand I decided to call it quits at the marriage and moved towards self-calling, my re-incarnation. 24th March 2014, I moved out of my husband’s home and I felt I got a chance back at life again, it was a new birth. Didn’t know what was in store and how would I deal back with life, but I had decided that will never go back to where I came out from. I wanted to forge ahead and look ahead in life.
During my second phase at life, I realized that life was not that smooth anymore. Moving ahead I could see the real faces of my friends and family. I saw everything losing out of my hand. It was like a tsunami which washed everything away from me leaving nothing behind. From there started the real struggle which was to be on my own. I had a tough time building up myself but I never said never.
My vision and dreams kept marching ahead and I put in extra efforts for them. People kept on demotivating me but my dreams were bigger and they kept flourishing. The pulling back effect stopped and my inner voices kept me pushing forward.
3. Societal Pressure on Women expecting them to behave in one particular manner tends them to leave their careers midway sometimes. Your message to such women who aspire to grow higher but fear of losing things they value!
My message to women dealing with societal pressures is that if you want to please your family or people around, then you should become an Ice-Cream because an Ice-cream can only please everyone not a human being. You cannot please everyone at the same time.
A woman needs to prioritize and segregate the priorities of life. If your inner force is really strong and you have the urge to do something in life then you should definitely go for it. We women are blessed with multi-tasking skills who can juggle right with balance on all aspects of life that no one can stop us from achieving anything we wish to achieve.
4. Is it difficult for women to articulate or voice out their will both professionally or personally? How important is it for females to voice out their opinions?
A belief system quite popular in the society is for women to not speak about their opinions or voice out their opinion on professional or personal front. This is not any man’s fault but the result of a faulty belief system prevalent in the society. It has been there since ages and slowly changing with changing times.
It’s really important for a woman to know that she has the right to voice out her opinion.She should actually voice out her opinion without any fear of society and counter reactions.
5. What is feminism according to you?
It is not required to tell a woman about her power. Women are powerful and its evident in our country where men and women equally pray Goddess Shakti. I believe the word feminism is a new age word which is to awaken the females about her forgotten shakti. If a woman wants, she can do anything and climb any mountain she wants.
6. Your Winning Stree Moment…
My winning stree moment was way back in 2010 when I decided to pursue a course in dietetics. I was an average student, who barely passed her math and science exams throughout her life. After 8 years of ending my school life when I decided to educate myself again, I faced resistance from my husband and was humiliated and made fun of.
My Winning Stree moment came when I cleared my exam with a distinction and additionally, I also pursued three other courses along with it. Not only this I was also managing my own fitness studio with 30 clients. From there I got this breakthrough that I could do it and I did it!!
7. The message you would wish to convey to our Fellow Strees…
A woman should be very clear and focused on the Why factor! She should know why she wants to achieve something that she wants to. It can be for herself, her family, her self-worth or her kids. But whatever the reason a woman should know why she is doing what. And once she knows it no one can dare stop her from achieving her goals.
8. Where can you be reached?
Reach me on FB: https://www.facebook.com/ruchita.mohan.9
Ruchita you are one powerhouse mom. More power to you lady!!
We women are known to live for others but this Mother’s Day let us take time for ourselves. Our thoughts, our wants and our do’s.
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