Satish and Seema are a happily married couple. Theirs was a love marriage and they knew each other for the past five years. Their family met, they accepted this bond, and finally, the couple got married. Five years of knowing each other and after five years of marriage Seema tells me that things aren’t the same anymore.
“Things have not remained the same between both of us,” Seema says, “Not that we don’t love each other anymore, it’s just that he wants to change something in me that he had previously overseen. He loved it even when I was lazy, didn’t want to cook, wanted to be lovey-dovey, now he wants me to be disciplined and a good wife or maybe daughter-in-law.” She continues, “In fact, his sister or his mother wants to change the way I dress or make my hair.”
There are many women or men out there who want to change others or expect others to change according to their wishes. Is this love? Do we respect them if they will change according to our way? Why did you get attracted to them in the first place?
Accept Them
If you love them, don’t change them, human beings or for that matter relationships may be built on compromises or sacrifice but how much do you want them to change. A woman after her marriage may be expected to change a bit but why try to alter her personality. Why is it always said that we can always tame a wild soul? Situations run out of control when an individual is pressurized to change themselves just to fit it.
Change Negative Habits
If you want to change someone, it could be their negative habits which are addictive like excessive alcohol (drinking), smoking, negative emotions leading to depression or suicides. These are the things that you can change if you want to help the person rise above any situation or improve their outlook towards life.
Don’t Give In To Society Pressures
Often even when people try to change themselves, it could also be due to societal pressures to be accepted in large groups of people or just to look cool. Remember trying to fake may not always get you genuine friends but may put you in deeper trouble. Accept the way you are first, you will only catch the attention of genuine people around you.
As a woman first and then as a daughter, wife, or mother you will always get different opinions on how you look, behave, or even while wearing those favorite pairs of heels. As long as you aren’t looking loud or over the top, it is best to walk with your head high with a killer attitude. Everyone has their own personality and it isn’t a sin to look different from the rest.
So love someone only when you have accepted them the way they are, don’t love them because you think you can alter something in them. Relationships are not like outfits that you can change, alter, or throw it. Cherish the bond that you share with each other, grow with each other and change only if it is your personal choice, not out of pressure to be accepted.
Till then keep winning, keep inspiring. Let’s grow together.
